Divine Secrets of the Ta-Ta Sisterhood

(Originally posted March 12, 2012)

I probably shouldn’t be telling you this. I’m probably breaking some kind of girl code. But I just can’t keep quiet.

I had my first mammogram today.

And it was absolutely no big deal.

I’m sitting in the robe now, next to the Totally Not Scary machine. (Although I heard some terrifying mechanical crunching sounds as I was escorted down the hallway. Turned out it was the Xerox.) I’m waiting for the results of one of the easiest medical tests I’ve had in a long time. Seriously. I have jeans that pinch me tighter. (But they’re so cute!) The most uncomfortable part of this process has been the orchestral arrangement of “I Believe I Can Fly” that’s currently being piped in.

Ladies, why do we scare each other? I’ve seen jokes and cartoons my whole life about mammograms and how uncomfortable and painful they are. And I’m sorry, but it’s a buncha lies. Dangerous lies. Because mammograms contribute to saving lives. We need to tell our friends and family to go. Not just if they think something is wrong (because for me, I absolutely do not) but because they should. Especially if they have family history, (which is the only reason I’m here today sitting in this robe next to the Not Scary Machine at the ripe old age of Almost 37.)

We’re tough and proud for lots of reasons. We fight through a lot of things as women. We don’t need to be martyrs. Not about this.

Mammograms. Totally no big deal.

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