The Countdown Begins

This artist is looking at 40. I mean, I’m staring at it. I could take my glasses off and still see it clearly. Because it’s right there. Tomorrow starts a countdown: forty days until my fortieth birthday.

For the past year, I’ve been challenging myself. I’ve been eating differently, and moving differently, and generally trying to live differently.

Not just different. Better.

I had big plans for this project. I was going to spend the year totally devoted to getting fit. I was going to face my fears. Go on grand adventures. Reach new heights. And then.

We moved to a new house. And I started a full time job. (My first full time job since 2003.) And my daughter started kindergarten. And holy life changes, Batman.

We got a dog. We said goodbye to a 14-year-old cat. I cut off all my hair. I once asked my therapist how long one could say they were in a “transition period” before it sounded ridiculous. His response: “I believe the standard is a decade.” There has always been a lot of comfort in that for me. But. I’m hoping I don’t feel this unsettled for the next nine years. I haven’t settled into any kind of routine that would help me understand how to be a working mom to a kindergartner. We haven’t settled into our new home. I haven’t even settled on growing my hair out versus keeping it short.

With all of these changes, there were several times that the perfectionist in me wanted to give up. If I couldn’t do it all the way, why do it at all? But something kept me going. Maybe it’s the wisdom that comes with forty years. Maybe it was how tight my pants were. But I kept going. Forty projects. Some of them tiny. Some of them huge commitments. And- full disclosure- some are still in progress. I still have 40 days, after all.

Starting tomorrow, I will share my adventures, one at a time. And in 40 days, you can all send me messages of congratulations and birthday greetings.

And wine.

Also please send wine.

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