A Day With The Wolf

This is the third installment in a series about raising a child with anxiety and depression. For more on our story, follow us on Facebook. If you are so led, you can also check out our gofundme campaign.

This is an actual, real-life day. As reported in Facebook statuses. 

8:00 AM Lily wakes up. We all slept on the fold-out bed in the living room last night because we were having a Star Wars movie night. She likes to keep people physically close to her. She woke up happily petting her dog. I have her the letter that our laundry angel left last night. She read the first half, but had me read the second half. She immediately grabbed a card, some markers, and some stickers. She wrote the salutation and the closing, and dictated the rest to me. It reminded me how smart she is, as the form of her letter was so appropriate. We told her people are signing up to help us, and that we were going to try to have it be less stressful at home in the future. 

8:15 AM While folding up the bed, Ryan’s hand slipped and he knocked over a glass of water. The glass broke. Lily immediately began screaming and thrashing on the bed. We couldn’t even make out what she was saying (this is very common) but she was devastated that the glass had been broken. Ryan and I both sprang into “ready” mode- looking for things she might throw, waiting to see if we would need to restrain her. This one passed easily though. She settled down, and her nose started to bleed. (Another very common occurrence. She works herself into nose bleeds a few times a week.) 

8:35 AM Lily asks if she can take a bath. Her body is far more advanced than her emotions, so hygiene is a tough one for her. We took her to Bath and Body works yesterday so bathing would be special. This is her second bath in 15 hours. 😉 Her nose is still bleeding a bit, but this is the only indication that she had an episode. 

10:05 AM Lily set her clothes out for church last night, took a bath this morning, then got herself dressed. However. It is not time to leave yet. (I just got out of the shower.) Therefore, she is “not going.” The “I’m not going” dance happened any time she knows we are going somewhere ever. She’ll go of course. But only after 20 minutes of I’m Not Going. 

10:10 AM Lily follows me into the bathroom and steps on the scale. 

Me: Looks just about right!

Lily: I’m scared. I don’t wanna be fat. 

Me: You’re not fat. You are growing though. 

Lily: I’m getting heavier. 

Me: Well that’s because you’re growing. But if you want, we can make sure we’re moving a lot and eating healthy foods. 

Her meds make her STARVING. All the time. Fortunately she is good about eating a variety of healthy foods. (She had a cucumber in her hand during this conversation.) But the combination of her meds and early puberty have led to significant weight gain. The doctors know about it. It’s not a problem. But it makes her sad. And having parents who weigh 250 COMBINED does not help matters. 
10:15 AM Lily asks if it’s time to go. It is not. She tells me again that she is not going, and starts banging her head on the wall. She then runs into her bedroom and slams the door over and over. Ryan tries to stop her and she lunges at him. She goes into her room screaming, and comes out a minute later as if nothing has happened. 

10:25 Lily settles down to play Minecraft with Ryan. I find out there is another church service at 5:00, so we all decide to go then. Another angel arrives to help with dishes. She also has breakfast. 

2:30 PM Ryan had a meeting and I had a lesson, so Lily rode with Ryan in the car. She was well-behaved and came home happy. She’s now calmly watching YouTube videos about Minecraft while waiting for someone to be available to play with her in about an hour. She’s hanging in there just fine, but I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

2:55 PM Since an angel came to help with the kitchen, we have a clean place. One clean place. I’m having some soup, and Lily is playing with her wolves. This is pretty common- she will hang out in the cleanest place. (Don’t we all?) It reminds me how important this is. Her mood right now is awesome. 


4:50 PM Lily had been playing Minecraft for about an hour with another of our angel friends online. We gave her a 15- minute warning that we were leaving for church. When it was time to go she happily said good-bye, put her shoes on, and skipped to the car. She does really well when she knows exactly what to expect. Off to church! 

5:15 PM Lily wore a special cowboy hat to church. Some of the jewels broke off. She ran out of the building screaming. We can’t chase her too closely, but Ryan and I both went outside to make sure she was safe. She screamed at us and stamped her feet that she was going home. After two or three minutes, she came back inside. Within another minute she was dancing with a friend. 

6:00 PM I connected with another Mom of a Special Needs Child. These connections are important. 

6:30 PM Lily was having a great time at church and really did not want to leave. She started whining that she was bored (we were literally STILL THERE) and whined on and off until we got home. She had a brief screaming session once she realized she really wasn’t playing Minecraft anymore today. 

7:00 PM Lily asked to take another bath. This kid will really not stink tomorrow. Ryan and I met while she was in the tub. A few schedule conflicts to work out, which is not easy since we both need to work as much as possible, and there are only a few people with the skills to babysit Lily. 

7:30 PM bathed, medicated, and in her pajamas, she cuddled up with Daddy for a bedtime story. She then asked if she could sleep on the couch. It’s such a balance, knowing that she should be in her own space, but also knowing that weekends can be tough for her and she wants to be near us. We decided not to fight this battle, so we let her curl up with a blanket on the couch while I work on lesson plans next to her. 

8:20 PM Snoring 

One of the skills Lily learned at the hospital was how to go to sleep. She literally did not know how to settle down her brain and body before. Now, (with the help of her meds which make her a bit sleepy) she can cuddle up and be snoring within a few minutes. She likes to sleep to relaxing classical music, which makes Music Teacher Mommy’s heart happy. 

#ADayWithTheWolf Wrap-Up

We had 6 mini explosions today. One caused a nose bleed, one had her banging her head on the wall, one sent her running out of the church building into the parking lot. 

In summary, this was a very easy day. 

Nothing got broken (except the glass, but that was Ryan’s fault….) and no one was injured. 

We made it to all of the activities we were supposed to attend. 

We didn’t wonder if we would have to call 911.

We had a very easy bedtime.

And most of all, we spent the day as a family, enjoying each other’ company. 

Today was a good day.

But wait. There’s more. 

Lily and I made this video at 2 AM. 

She did not to school the next morning. 


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Donna Becker
    Mar 29, 2017 @ 17:29:20

    Stay Strong- you both are amazing parents. God Bless your family. I will keep you in my prayers . Donna Becker

    Reply

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